Fatherhood

              

                                         

              When writing a paper for my class, I came upon a great website that talked about efective fathering; https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chapterfour.cfm the website gave several attrabutes that an effective father partrays. The first attrabute that that they gave was “Fostering  a positive relationship with the children’s mother.” The virtues that a father displays in his relationship with the children’s mother is setting an important example to the children. This reminds me of the youtube video where daughters are saying that loving her mother is the most important thing that their father could do. They bring up the point that by loving their mothers, their father is showing them not to settle in choosing their spouse. That loving their mother is showing them how to treat others, and how love heals wounds, and how to treat others. The article gives statistics in how fathers that treat their wife’s with love have children that suffered less from depression, anxiety, anger, and are all around healthier

                The second is spending time with their children. This to me is a given for effective fathering. This gives the father the opportunity to get to know his children, and the children the opportunity to get to know their father. The father can then get to know the problems and weaknesses of the child, and lift them up and help them. Time is not only the act of being around each other, but that they need to be actively engaged in productive activities. This is very different than spending time in passive activities such as watching television. Fathers should also spend time in fostering the child’s intellectual growth.

                                                   

                The third attribute that stood out to me was disciplining children appropriately. It is sometimes hard for a man to be in control of his emotions, body language, and his hands when disciplining. But fathers who scream, pound on things, or hit their children are both modeling bad behavior and they also lose their child’s respect when the father lets his emotions control him.

                The fourth attribute sounds like it came right out of the proclamation to the family. It is protecting and providing. A father needs to make the child feel safe and secure. Most fathers that are underemployed feel inadequate and sometimes lead them to anger or depression. But not only does a father need to provide financial security, they need to provide social security in their social environment. They need to keep track of their whereabouts and activities. It is one way of becoming involved in a child’s life, but also being protective of their surroundings and environments that they subject themselves to.

                                                           

                The last to me kind of sums it all up, which is being a role model. That one is very broad in that everything that a father does is going to mean something to their children. If the father is always gone, it could be interpreted as a lack of love. One of the points the author points out is that a father needs to admit to his children when he is wrong. Many men see apologizing to their children as a weakness and that the child may lose respect for their father, but in reality the opposite is true. What some men think is a sign of weakness to their children, is really a sign of strength.